


(Not) A Passing Fascination

by beyourhero



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood, Drama, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Getting Together, M/M, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Post-War, Romance, This is a wild ride
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-09-16 05:51:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16948239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyourhero/pseuds/beyourhero
Summary: (Ereri/Riren post-canon)Levi has to live with the consequences and memories of Eren, his love, the person that he let down, and the one whom he couldn't tell how much he loved him, and now, it was too late for that.The former Captain of the Survey Corps lost his last hope, but one year later, when he finds a letter addressed to Hange, he discovers that he might not have lost everything after all.





	1. Farewell

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first work for this fandom, and I hope you can give it a chance. It's ereri/riren (yay, switching), and it will have a bit of angst, a bit of fluff, some romance, and two idiots in love, you know, the usual.  
> Italic means flashback, and you know, normal means normal or current time.  
> I hope you guys like it!  
> As always, english isn't my first language, and this work was unbeta'ed.  
> Enjoy!

The fight was brutal. One by one, soldiers from both sides fell. The pained screams, the fury, and desperation resounded through the battlefield. Blood was dripping from everyone’s hands, even from those who swore not to kill a human being. Some of them were young, but they already carried with the death of their fellow soldiers, and of the people they loved. They couldn’t do anything but keep going on, and wait for the best outcome, grabbing their farewell letters against their chest, letters that the soldiers exchanged the previous days, while they prepared for the last mission, that would decide the fate of humanity.

Ooo

_“Mikasa doesn’t want to be a squad leader during this mission. She said she’d be with us, and gave her place over to Jean.”_

_“Tsk.”_

_After all the ups and downs in their relationship, things had started to sort them out by themselves. In the battlefield, they were partners, more than just a superior and his charge. Both of them had lost a lot dur8ng this life, has sacrificed part of their lives for a common objective. But in private, they were equals, lovers, finding a refuge in the arms of the others._

_“Levi… what do you want to do once the war is over?” Eren asked, sitting with his back against the headboard, and massaging Levi’s shoulders. Their relationship was different from the beginning, when they seek the company of the other in their bed, almost, as if only with sex could they fill the gaping on their chests. Nowadays, they only needed the presence of the other, the reassurance that they weren’t alone, and that they had a place to crawl back in when the pressure turned out to be too overwhelmed for them. This was enough. This was all the warmth they needed._

_“You’re so sure that this war will come to an end soon”, replied the Captain, leaning against the chest of his young lover. “What does make you think that it will be a place for me when everything is over?”_

_“What do you mean”_

_“If the war ends, I will be an ugly reminder of everything that happened with the Titans and the people from Marley. The higher-ups won’t want me around, and I don’t have a lot of options. I don’t know other than killing, and I’m too old to start my own band in the underground. Besides, I’ve tasted a kind of freedom that I didn’t have before, so I’m not going back down there. I guess I will have to wait for what the Capital and Hange decide.”_

_Both men fell in silence. Although Eren knew better than to wait for a different answer, it still stung. It hurt him not to know if Levi would include him in his future or not._

_“What about you?”_

_“No one wants to be close to someone who can shift into a titan. They don’t want me now, I doubt that could change. I suppose they will want to get rid of me.”_

_Abruptly, Levi leaned up, turning around to face Eren, kneeling between his legs. "Don't be an idiot. You're under my watch, and I would never let anyone hurt you"._

_Eren smiled although a little sadly. There was no one who could hurt him as much as he himself did and his self-destructive thoughts. He pulled Levi closer, burying his face on the Captain's chest. "You know I don't have many years left," Eres whispered, aware of the grudge that he carried on his shoulders, "Thinking about the future helps me soothe the pain albeit little."_

_Levi clung to him, and after that, they didn't say more._

Ooo

The Titans kept coming, moved by one of the Marleans.

Both nations had reached a truce, less than four months ago. They agree on giving up the power of the Titans and the shifters. Hange and Armin had tried to create a cure, an antidote that could reverse Ymir's curse. But they couldn't foresee that most of the combatants were so weak, that during their last transformation, their titan's body exploded with heat waves, being burned alive in an instant.

This affront was considered as an act of way, and both nations prepared for the attack.

Ooo

_Eren knew that they would leave next week to the battlefield, though, deep inside, he knew it would be the last. He hadn't seen Levi since the night they talked about their plans for after the war when Eren understood he had to continue on his own, merely because Levi wasn't contemplating him on his own plans._

_He walked to the Commander's office and was about to knock. He wanted to consult a few things in case his body went through the same last phase as the other shifters. He knew that, if he did explode, he had to do it as close as possible to the enemy's territory, having the chance to take with him as many soldiers as he could. Bue Eren stood still when he heard Levi's voice coming from inside the office._

_"You know it as well as I do, shitty glasses. When the war is done, we're gonna be disposed of and throw away like old dogs."_

_"You may be right, but that won't be immediate. We have to reunify our troops, make agreements with the Capital, and with Historia's favor, the impact will be less."_

_"I don't care. My resignation doesn't have a starting date, but consider it irrevocable."_

_"And your squad?"_

_"If they're smart, they will find a better position, or command their own squad."_

_"What about Eren?" Have you talked to him?"_

_"He's under my watch until we know for sure that he isn't dying. After that, he can decide. He's young, let him do whatever the hell he wants."_

_Listening to Levi's impersonal words about Eren, was like a punch in the guts for the young shifter. He didn't have a problem accepting that he fell in love with the Captain a long time ago, and without a doubt, he would run away with him if asked. But the emptiness in his voice broke his heart._

_Stupidly, Eren had believed that Levi would love him back, someday._

_He returned to his room, where he still slept some nights -when he didn't share the bed with Levi-, and just lied down, wishing for the pain to go away._

_Back in the office, Hange took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, tired of dealing with Levi's stubbornness. "You know what I mean." It wasn't a secret that they had a relationship, though no one dared to say it out loud. The insistent glances, quick touches, and nightly escapades were enough proof._

_"I won't tie him to an old man like me. He's young, he will get over me, and if he survives, I hope he finds someone or something better, that truly makes him happy," Levi sighed, leaning against the window, "you know I can't give him what he needs. For fuck's sake, Hang, I don't even know what I'm gonna do when everything is said and done."_

_"I'm not a fool, man. Your eyes speak for yourselves," when Levi shook his head, Hange knew their conversation was going nowhere. "Well, at least, answer me this. Do you feel the same way for Jaeger?"_

_Levi nodded softly, and that was enough answer for the Commander._

Ooo

The roar of Eren in his titan form made both side stop instantly, even the titans that were wandering around stopped to put their attention on him as if they were waiting for his next instruction. His steps were slow, but he had a clear goal in mind, near the enemy's front lines, and with him, the Titans followed closely behind. The grunts and howls that left his throat were agonizingly loud as if he were hurting. Everybody knew then that he was dying. The damn cure hadn't worked.

"Eren!" Mikasa screamed, ready to put him out of his titan body, but Hange stopped her, telling her that it was his decision.

Levi could only lift up his hand with his blade, signaling the soldiers to way. And they did until the explosion came, and the hate wave started to dispel.

ooo

_Around every corner, one could spot cadets talking in hushed tones, giving their letters to their loved ones, and at times, some would be crying. Eren saw the new recruits about to piss their pants, scared of what was coming, holding their partners. He saw the veterans, drinking together, because they knew by experience, that there was nothing they could do. His squad, the most important people in his life, were together, too, but they saw him as a stranger, so he didn't approach them. It was okay, he wanted to think, if they hated him, they wouldn't be sad when he was gone._

_Marley left him severely wounded, mentally more than anything, and by miracle, the only person who didn't reject his company, was Levi._

_Mikasa tried, of course, to look after him as she always did, but sometimes, he believed it had more to do with a blind devotion that with a real interest on her part. Armin, well, they barely crossed a word. Zeke was a total stranger to him, so the only person who helps him step out of his loneliness, was Levi. Thus, when he didn't show up in his room or called for him, Eren understood that he had gotten tired of him -probably-. Or, just like he heard him talking to Hange, Levi wanted to end this quickly, and a proper farewell only complicated things between them._

_That night, Eren didn't sleep. He stayed on his bed, rolling around or looking through the small window how the moon seemed to shine brightly. It was ironic how one could find beauty in a world full of shit._

_Suddenly, the door of his room was opened. He didn't have to look at the door to know who it was, he had become familiar with the quiet but sure steps. Levi took off his bots and then his harness and his cravat. He got under the covers, and laid down behind him, sneaking an arm around him to press his chest against Eren's back. His lips brushed his tanned neck, and he could feel how he tensed under his touch, to the point of putting some distance between them._

_"What's wrong? Did I wake you up?"_

_"I wasn't asleep."_

_"You should. We're leaving before dawn."_

_"And you decided it was okay to come now?" Eren's voice was harsh, clearly upset after being practically ignored for days. It wasn't as common as before to see him losing his temper, but under all that bravado and blackness, there was still a child, scared about the future and what it might hold. "Tell me the truth, Levi, what am I to you?" Eren turned around to look at Levi's eyes. And despite his calm expression, there was a hint of surprise in his eyes._

_"You're in my charge. You're in my squad. You're my partner", Levi answered, as if that was the obvious thing to say._

_Eren, then, sat down, followed by Levi, but then his shoulders started to shake, and an odd sound escaped his throat. Was his laughing? Probably yes, but the fat tears that rolled down his cheeks, told a different story._

_"I don't know why I expected something different," said Eren with a cracked voice, willing himself not to break down. "After all these years, after sleeping in your bed for months and being together, I thought that you saw me as something more, something more than another recruit."_

_"Eren.-"_

_"No! I don't want to listen to your excuses anymore! I don't want to hear you saying that you're my superior and that this is the most we can have. I don't want you to tell me that you're too old for me. I don't want you to keep my hopes high anymore. I'm so stupid for believing that one day, you would love me in the same way that I do!"_

_< <Yeah, you're an idiot>>, thought Levi, <<If only you could know for how long I have loved you>>._

_At that moment, crying with his heart opened, Eren looked like the young boy that Levi used to find sobbing in his sleep, dreaming with a family that he lost, and suffering from the nightmares that didn't leave him alone. He wanted to comfort him, wanted to brush his long hair and whisper into his ear that everything would be fine. But neither of them had the time for that. If they survived the last battle, Eren would die soon. And selfishly, Levi didn't want to suffer, even if he would give the rest of his life, to see Eren happy again._

_"I can't give you more than this, Eren," Levi said, calmy, clutching the sheets to prevent his hands from touching Eren, "I don't know what will happen tomorrow, nor if Hange's serum cured you at all. And I can't tie you when you have a lot to explore and discover."_

_"Tie me? Why don't you come front and say that you feel that way with me?" No, Levi didn't feel that way. He wanted to be with him, he wanted to love him and protect him in his imperfect way. But he had never been good with words, never was good expressing what he really felt. Levi let people guessing the true meaning of his words, or let Hange, who was the closest person in the SC to know him, to explain his outburst and speeches, and, in the end, he was used to being seen as someone unapproachable and cold._

_But this time, he had fucked up. And when he didn't mutter a word, Eren found his answer._

_"Get out, Levi. I don't want to force you to spend your free time with someone like me. It causes repulsion, doesn´t it? So I don't want you to kiss me or to hold me, and I don't want you to tell me that you care about me. You reached your goal, you looked after me until the last battle. So please, let me alone."_

_"Eren..."_

_"Get the fuck out of my room, Levi!" The authoritative voice of Eren was strong enough to attract the curious glance of Armin, who was turning around the corner to get to his room. He could hear the rummage of clothes and some hushed voices as someone opened the door. It was Levi, who, without turning around, said to Eren: "We're leaving at dawn, Jaeger. Get to Arlet, you will be riding with Hange's squad. Tell Mikasa in case she wants to change places with someone else."_

_Just as Levi closed the door, Armin hid, but not before witnessing how glassy the eyes of his captain looked._

_Xxx_

_The next morning, Levi was in the stables, brushing the hair of his horse, preparing him for the ride that morning. Despite the fool smell and the poorly cleaned place, he did enjoy taking care of his animal. It was relaxing in a way. He murmured "don't die before me, alright?" and the horse let out a small grunt as if he could understand him._

_Footsteps could be heard near him, and he didn't have to turn to look who it was approaching him. He looked over his shoulder, and with a flat expression, asked: "What do you want, Eren?". Said boy was already dressed in his uniform, wearing his gear and his hair was pulled up in a small bun. Without answering his question, Eren grabbed his arm and made him turn around. Before Levi could do something, Eren closed the distance between them, placing a hand against the nape of Levi's neck and the other on his waist, at the same time that he crashed his lips against the Captain's._

_Levi responded the kiss with the same intensity, holding tightly on Eren's harnesses that were part of their uniform. He followed Eren's rhythm, wishing to stay like that for a little bit longer, and even wanting to throw him down and made love to his young lover in that very floor (unsanitary as it was). But he couldn't savor the kiss for longer. They pulled apart, with swelled lips and red tinted cheeks, and without another word, Eren took his horse and walked outside._

_No one knew that that would be their last farewell._

Ooooo

The heat was suffocating, and the screams of pain from their enemies were heard. A grey cloud was rising up in the skies, and Levi, still with his eyes on the mission, told his tropes to keep moving on. His soldiers didn't react right away, shocked after watching the titan exploding before their eyes.

When the cloud started to clear up, Mikasa was the first person to reach to the inert body of the titan, preparing her swords to pull Eren out of the titan, but it wasn't needed. The flesh of the titan was practically boiling, and as she got closer to the neck, she saw how the head, neck and upper back had exploded. Afraid of what she might find, she walked to the center, where Eren's body should've been laying unconsciously, but instead, she only found what it appeared to be the part of a calf and a foot, burning in the heat of the titan's body, practically carbonized.

A pained scream was let out, and it was foreign to her ears, but the scream was hers. It was Mikasa who was screaming in agony, screaming out the pain of seeing the only family she had left being taken away from her. At that moment, she broke down and cried as she hadn't done it in years.

Levi approached her, and saw the scene, feeling nauseous, but he had to put up a mask, he had to conserve the little composure he had left. He would have time later to mourn him.

"Move, Ackerman, you can cry later," his voice came out rougher than intended. It was a coping mechanism to hide his pain, under layers of anger that no one could see through.

The girl looked up, watching him with hatred. "Fuck you, Levi."

Levi didn't answer. He flew through the skies, fighting and avenging his pain in the poor souls that crossed his path.

That day, humanity won. Paradis was crowned as the winner, but the strongest soldier of humanity had lost his last hope.


	2. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, remembering someone is symbolic, other times, you carry the scars of their love on your heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, hey y'all, welcome to a new chapter.  
> I really hope you like it, because I teared up a bit, so yeah, it might be good.  
> Anyway, thanks so much for bookmarking and liking this small fic!  
> As always, english isn't my mother language, and this work was unbeta'ed.  
> Enjoy!

The thing about farewells is that they leave you with an empty, shallow pain in the chest. It never fades or goes away. You just learn to live with it, until it consumes you and darkness swallows you up.

Xox

 

“…And, although the losses were enormous, we can be here today, celebrating the lives of those who sacrificed their lives for the greatest good,” Queen Historia stood tall in front of the audience that was congregated to see Levi’s squad, along with the higher ups in the Survey Corps, being awarded. Paradis could finally breathe freely without the threat of the Titans. 

 

One by one, the scouts accepted the medals handed by Historia, wearing proud but also sad smiles, remembering their comrades fallen in action. Except for two men, who didn’t step up when she called their names. “Captain Levi Ackerman?” When he didn’t show up, people started to whisper, looking at each other, trying to find him among the crowd.

 

With an awkward cough, Historia continued speaking, “this next medal has the name of a man who dedicated almost the last five years of his life to helping us fight against the Titans. Even when the odds were against him, he never gave up. I am sure that Eren Yeager would’ve been happy to be here with us today, but he lives in our hearts and our memories.” There was a moment of silence. Some of the audience looked saddened, others indifferent, but his squad remained calm, expressionless, betrayed by the watery aspect of their eyes. Except for one member, Mikasa, who seemed furious. Levi was supposed to accept Eren’s medal, and yet, he was nowhere to be seen.

 

Hange accepted both medals, and Historia finished the ceremony. The Corps still had another ceremony, in the place where their fallen friends had their final rest.

 

\- - -

 

Levi stood in front of a small patch of grass, with an improvised grave that told the name of the person who rested there. No, it wasn’t Eren’s grave, by some stubborn thought, he decided not to show up to either ceremony. Maybe apart of him refused to believe that Eren, his Eren, was gone.

 

“I don’t know if I could’ve ever taken care of your son,” Levi murmured, his eyes set in the letters carved into the stone with messy handwriting, Eren’s doing, of course. But he had insisted to give his mother a place to rest, even if it was only symbolic, but Eren needed it. Needed to hold the memory of Carla Yeager closer to him.

 

Ooo

 

_Funerals left a sour taste in everybody’s tongues after their failed missions, but when you were the reason behind these deaths, it was impossible not to feel their pain._

_Eren couldn’t stand the whole service, so he started to wander around the cemetery, until he found a small plot with the greenest grass, away from the other tombs, but inside the area that was dedicated to the civilians that perished when Shingashina fell. A contradiction to their families, considering how expensive it was. But Eren didn’t care. He was determined to buy that plot._

_\- - -_

_It was weird to get used to his new squad. They were just kids and had gone through more than most. It was unsetting, yes, but they were a fun pack. Especially during their days off. Even though he didn’t show it, he was amused when his squad strolled into the common room, talking about their purchases, like Jean’s new boots or Sasha’s sweets. All, except for Eren, who spent his time cleaning or training or simply reading in the common room when he wasn’t subjected to experiments. And, of course, Levi noticed it. So, one afternoon, in the dining room, when it was only them, he brought it up._

_“Yeager, why aren’t you out playing with your friends?”_

_“I-I, well, it’s quiet here.”_

_“And that’s it? You don’t want to buy new shit or something?”_

_“No, I don’t need anything.”_

_“Well, I don’t want you here next week. So, you better go and do a shopping trip with your friends unless you want stable duty for the rest of the month.”_

_“Yes, sir,” Eren replied with a hint of apprehension in his voice, that Levi decided not to comment on it._

_Xx_

_But Levi should’ve known better than to sent off a group of brats unsupervised. They would always cause trouble, and two weeks later, when a very pissed off Eren crossed the threshold, ignoring his friends’ calls, he was starting to regret not to put them all in cleaning duty._

_“Hey! What the fuck was that?”_

_“Ah, Good evening, Sir,” Armin instantly saluted, blushing a bright red on his face, “He, uh, he’s upset, that’s it.”_

_“Yeager almost got into a fight with an MP,” interrupted Jean, “but we managed to drag him out of the canteen.”_

_“The fuck were you doing there?”_

_“It was Eren’s idea, Sir!” Connie said, getting hit by Sasha._

_Levi looked around, noticing that one of his squad members was missing, “And let me guess, Ackerman, threatened the man, didn’t she?” When the boys and girls nodded, he sighed, “I hope this little scene doesn’t reach our commander, otherwise, you can forget your day off for a long while”_

_“But Sir. -“_

_“No, Kirschtein. You’re a squad, and you gotta protect your team members on the battlefield and in the streets. That includes joining their punishments. Now, I don’t want to see any of you.” With that, Levi dismissed them and went to Eren’s room._

_He could hear Mikasa speaking, but the boy didn’t utter a word. So, he knocked at the door once and opened it. “Ackerman, get out.”_

_“No, Eren needs. -“_

_“Eren needs to control his fucking temper, so unless you have something helpful to say, get out of here”, the glare that Mikasa sent him wasn’t unnoticed, but it wasn’t as if Levi cared. When the younger girl left the room -closing the door with more force that needed-, he crossed his arms, keeping his eyes on Eren._

_“So? What was it, Yeager? Did you want to beat an incompetent ass just because they’re MP? Or you just were trying to pick a fight like a real idiot?” Eren didn’t say anything. He kept his head down, and his lips were pressed in a tight line. “Well? I don’t have all day.” Eren, stubbornly, shook his head, which angered the Captain. “In that case, tell your friends to forget their next days off.”_

_“You can’t do that!” Ah, that provoked a reaction from Eren, “It was my fault, not theirs.”_

_“I won’t have you causing trouble around the city just because you’re a hot-tempered idiot that couldn’t shut the fuck up.” Levi turned around, and before he left the room, Eren murmured something. “What was that, Yeager?”_

_“He insulted my mom,” Eren whispered, and Levi scoffed._

_“Mine has been insulted multiple times, and you don’t see me beating the crap out of them.”_

_“He said I was a monster because she surely was one, too,” Eren clenched his fists, trying to keep calm in front of his superior, “And that’s a damn lie. My mom was a good, honest woman. She doesn’t deserve to be dragged into my shit-show.”_

_Levi sighed and leaned back against the wall, keeping his expressionless face set, but his eyes softened a little. “Eren, if you know what kind of woman your mother was, then what’s the matter?”_

_“I wanted to do something for her,” Eren replied, “I wanted to buy a small plot in the cemetery and put a grave or something with her name on it. Even if it’s only symbolic, I wanted to have that small place for her, so I saved all my money, and went to the canteen, where he daily was. And when the man recognized me, he said I couldn’t pay for it, and even if I did, he wouldn’t accept to put the name of the mother of a monster among the other innocents.” At this point, Eren was holding back his tears, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his eyes off._

_Shit. So, the kid had a valid reason to lose his temper. Levi would probably have done the same._

_“Still, you were reckless. What if that fucker reported you? We both know your case is “special”, and we can’t take any risks. You can’t react harshly.”_

_“I know, Sir.”_

_Levi considered his options for a moment, and then he pushed himself off the wall. “Get some rest, Eren. Eat something or take a shit, I don’t care. Just calm down. We’ll deal with this in the morning.” With that, he stepped out and returned to his office. That idiot good-for-nothing officer might not listen to Eren, but he would listen to Levi._

_\- - -_

_A month later, Eren was convinced -better said, forced- to go out the quarters with his squad. He had been scolded by Erwin, too, but luckily, the MP didn’t present any report. He joined his friends for breakfast, and cast swift glances at the officer’s table, noticing that Levi hadn’t shown up. For the brief visits he had done to Levi’s office, he knew the amount of paperwork was increasing, and between that, training, and preparing for the next expedition, the bags under Levi’s eyes looked darker._

_Before catching up with his friends, he went to the kitchen and made a pot of black tea. He also took some pieces of bread and spread butter on them. With the improvised food ready, he walked to Levi’s office, careful not to spill anything._

_Once he was outside the office, he pushed the door open, it was ajar, but he didn’t want to interrupt Levi’s work. “Sir? May I come in?”_

_“You’re practically inside, Yeager,” Levi grunted, without taking his eyes off the papers he was reading, “What do you want?”_

_“Ah, yes, Sir, I brought you tea and something to eat.” Levi finally looked up and sighed. He had been so immersed in his workload, that he missed breakfast. And with Blouse there, he doubted there was anything else to eat._

_Levi stood up from his chair and stretched his arms, then he motioned Eren to leave the tea and the place on the desk and to take a seat. Nervously, Eren did as he was told, observing how tired the older man looked. He was always pristine and ready for combat, but the small changes, such as the missing cravat, the jacket on the hanger, and the slightly messy look of his bangs, was enough sign of his tiredness._

_After a moment of silence in which Levi ate bits of the bread and drank half of his tea, he took a document that was set apart from the papers on his desk. “Read it.”_

_Curiously, Eren began to read what it said, but in an instant, he looked disappointed. However, he looked up at Levi, conjuring a small smile. “So, you bought that plot, eh? It’s beautiful and private, and well-kept. Expensive, but I’m sure they must’ve done an exception for you.”_

_“I wouldn’t know, Yeager. I only put a foot inside of a cemetery when it’s for a ceremony or a funeral. Other than that, I’d rather avoid them.” Eren nodded, looking crestfallen._

_“I lost mine, too,” Levi said out of the blue, which earned a confused look from Eren, “My mother, I lost her when I was even younger than you. The Underground City is full of shit and garbage, and there she was, doing her damn best raising a child on her own in the middle of a goddamn brothel. I can’t remember her face as well as I’d like to, but I remember how she took care of me. She was a kind woman, and a good mother.”_

It _wasn’t the first time that Levi was this open with Eren, but so far, he had never revealed him anything about his past. It felt like a privilege, to be trusted with this bit of information._

_“I’m not like you, Eren,” Levi continued after a while, clearing his throat, “I don’t need anything to remember her. She was free when she died, she flew away like a sparrow, and that’s enough for me. But you want to remember your mother in your own way, and I’m not taking that from you. That woman deserves a fucking monument for dealing with a stubborn brat like you.”_

_Instead of laughing, Eren stared at Levi with wide eyes. “I-I don’t understand, Sir.”_

_“Old news,” a sigh, “the plot is yours, Eren. I bought it so the fucker in charge wouldn’t have an excuse not to let you have it.”_

_“But it is expensive.”_

_“I know.”_

_“I can’t let you do that!” the younger man exclaimed, standing up and almost knocked the chair off._

_“Oi, idiot! Calm down, alright? You have no say in this.”_

_“Then let me repay you!”_

_“I don’t need the money.”_

_“B-but. -“_

_“Shut the fuck up before I change my mind, Yeager.”_

_Eren pressed his lips together. His hands trembled, and he couldn’t believe Levi would do something like this for him. He wanted to do something for him, too, in gratitude for going to such lengths to help him. “Then I can help you with your paperwork!”_

_“Eren. -“_

_“No, Sir, it’s a good idea! You have lots of paper to review and letters to send, and I can help you with that. Maybe you can even get a couple of extra hours to sleep.”_

_Levi maintained the same bored expression, but Eren knew him, maybe not too well, but he did recognize some mannerisms, like how he crossed his arms over his chest and averted his eyes when he was considering something._

_“This shit is boring.”_

_“I know.”_

_“And if you fuck up, I will cut you.”_

 

_“I-I know.”_

_“You will have to do the headstone, crave her name or whatever you want to put it in that place.”_

 

_“I can do that! In my days off and before breakfast, and I can come here after dinner or whenever you want me to.”_

 

_And there it was, the fiery passion in those teal eyes that more than once had distracted Levi. “Stubborn brat,” he murmured, and Eren almost giggled. “Move that chair over, we have work to do.”_

 

 

Ooo

 

“I hope you can forgive me for not protecting him as I should have,” Levi said, “For all the times I failed him, and for not knowing how to express what I felt for him,” a single tear rolled down his cheek, drying quickly because of the cool breeze, “He believed that you could hear him whenever he came here, so I’m begging you, if you’re listening to me, please, let him know how much I loved him,” a knot on his throat made it difficult for Levi to keep talking. Instead, he placed the bouquet of white roses that he brought with him, mindful of not disturbing the handful of blue flowers tied together, that someone had left there.

 

\- - -

 

The Survey Corps’ headquarters where silent when he returned after dusk. He heard movement in the dining room, and murmurs of quiet talks among the soldiers. He wasn’t in the mood to join them. He wasn’t hungry, and he knew his sour mood would aggravate his men, so he decided to go directly to his quarters, and finally let the pressure on his chest loose.

 

But his plans were frustrated when he crossed the common room, finding his squad -or should he say, former squad- sitting there.

 

“Captain,” Armin stood up and saluted, because old habits die hard, “Good evening, Sir.”

 

“Stop the formalities, Arlet,” Levi said with a hint of irritation.

 

“You weren’t there during the ceremony,” a female voice, monotonous and cold, that hid her fury, spoke behind him. Levi didn’t need to turn around to know who the owner was. “You were supposed to have his medal. Eren would’ve wanted you there!”

 

“He’s dead, Ackerman,” Levi murmured angrily, “stop thinking that you can make decisions for him.”

 

A sudden impact made him lose balance, causing him to fell flat on the floor. A weight settled on his abdomen, and when he could focus his eyes, he saw Mikasa, with an almost murdering expression on her delicate face, staring down at him. Jean moved quickly, but Levi raised his hand, instructing him to stop. The rest of the squad was ready to interfere in case things got out of hand between the Ackerman’s.

 

 “You heartless bastard!” Mikasa clenched her hands on the front of his shirt, “You were supposed to protect him, and you let him die!”

 

“It was his choice, not mine.” His reply angered Mikasa even more, and without thinking, she hit him in the right side of his face.

 

“How could you be so cold?” another hit, “did you even care about him?” and another, “people like you don’t know how to love,” and another, “but he did! He loved you so fucking much, and you didn’t deserve it!”

 

Her words hurt him more than her fist would ever do. He stayed still and let her vent her frustration on him. In a way, it seemed like a fitting punishment for an arrogant idiot who never learned to express his love.

 

The commotion attracted everyone’s attention, even Hange’s who immediately tugged the younger woman off Levi.

 

Connie and Armin moved to help Levi up, but he refused their help, while Jean hugged Mikasa close to his chest, rubbing circles in her back.

 

“Everyone’s dismissed!” Hange’s voice silenced the whispers of the soldiers, and they returned quickly to the dining room or their rooms, leaving Levi’s squad and Hange alone, “I won’t tolerate this behavior! I know you’re grieving, Mikasa, but we all are! This is the second time you disrespect your Captain, and I won’t. -“

 

“Hange, stop,” Levi weakly said, knowing that their Commander’s solution won’t be of any help in a moment like this. What a sight was he, with cuts in his face, and purples beginning to swell, but he ignored that, he even welcomed the physical pain that he felt. Levi looked down at his clothes, annoyed by the wrinkles on his shirt and the drops of blood that stained it.

 

“Go to the infirmary, Levi, I’ll be down in a second,” Hange kindly suggested, but Levi shook his head. Instead, he turned around, his gaze falling on Mikasa.

 

“If you want a human punchbag, that’s it, you have it,” Levi spoke, observing Mikasa’s reaction, “but don’t you dare say that I don’t care, because I do. And it hurts, it hurts too fucking much. But I’m older, Mikasa, and I don’t care if you hate me because I act like a heartless pig. I had to learn to suck it up and mourn in private, away from the prying eyes. Be grateful for the shoulders that you can lean on and cry to your heart’s content.”

 

The sharp dark eyes of Mikasa told Levi her answer. Bullshit, she was thinking. But he didn’t have to prove her anything. The only person whose opinion really mattered was gone.

 

Her words resounded in his head as he left the common room in quick steps. Did Eren think the same about him? Did he really believe that he didn’t care enough? He probably did, but there was nothing he could do to change that. The guilt and sorrow wouldn’t disappear. But he tried, he tried so fucking hard to show Eren what he felt for him. He wasn’t the best, nor the most romantic man, but he did try.

 

But maybe, his good intentions weren’t enough.

 

Once in his office, he threw his cravat away, along with his coat. He paced around the room, and out of desperation, he punched the wall, once, twice, enough times until his fist was bleeding and numb, until he could feel nothing but the wetness that fell from his eyes freely. And he finally cried, ugly, and painful and raw, ignoring if his cries could be heard outside. He cried until he felt empty inside.

 

But, when the pressure on his chest didn’t loosen up, he grabbed from the cabinet a bottle of vodka, and drowned the amber liquid, ignoring the burning sensation on his throat. He drank until he nearly finished the bottle, and the sun started to ascend up in the sky. And when he finally fell asleep, he dreamed with eyes like the color of the sea that looked at him with love, and with sun-kissed skin, that was warmth at his touch, and with rosy lips, that kissed breathlessly and whispered I love you’s on his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments fill my spirit <3 and also let me know what you guys think about this fic!  
> Find me in tumblr [as miitzwrites](https://miitzwrites.tumblr.com)


	3. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets old acquaintances, and make a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaay, so here we go, another day, another chapter. I'm really enjoying this fic, and I hope you guys do, too!  
> Also, especial mention to Merrique, who helped me lots to figure out some details for this fic!  
> As always, english isn't my first language, and this work was unbeta'ed.  
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 3: Comfort**

 As the weeks went by, the military started to re-organize their activity. The most prominent change was for the Survey Corps, who expanded their bases to the outside world, helping the people who decided to repopulate the areas, to settle down. The young cadets kept training, the use of the 3DMG was obligatory, even if the threats of Titans were not present anymore.

 

Levi’s squad would be disintegrated in a year, that was agreed on during their last meeting with Hange, Zackley, and Historia; Mikasa and Jean would be assigned to different bases, with men and women under their care, acting like the veterans that they were now. Connie decided to quit the Corps after that year and to start a small business in baking. It wasn’t much, but he kept Sasha’s memory with him in that way. Armin was given the authorization to start traveling, and he did so the first chance he got, bringing new information with him each time. He and Hange worked on the lab when they had free time.

 

Hange, on her part, had decided to quit, but one of the agreements with the Capital had been that the Commanders would choose a successor, and prepare them to step in their role in a year or so, and she had picked up that person already, choosing a young but bright woman named Karina. She might lack the ability in the battlefield, but she was witty, diplomat, and a strategist, reasons that convinced Hange about her decision.

 

Everyone started to find their own path, leaving behind the deaths and loses that marked their lives. Everyone, but Levi.

 

Levi couldn’t move on, as pathetic as that may sound, the once called “humanity’s strongest” was tired, physically and mentally. He kept doing his job, of course, but he didn’t take a moment for himself. He spent days and nights inside of his quarters, only going downstairs for food or tea once a day, or when Hange called him into her office. He barely slept at night, and when he did, he was plagued by nightmares of Eren dying again, by his own hands. He was strong and could take anyone down in a fight, but the injury on his left ankle started to act up again, and the limping on his walking was more evident.

 

Overall, he was a human wreck.

 

People noticed it, too, but Levi hid his pain behind a mask of disinterest and annoyance. It was easier in that way, he thought, if he looked unapproachable, he wouldn’t have to talk, and if he was left alone for good, maybe the pitying or concerned looks would finally stop.

 

He was wrong.

 

Levi was rude, cruel when needed, his jokes were shitty -no pun intended-, and yet, he was well-liked. He was considered a hero among the citizens, and frankly, he was tired of listening to that nickname, but the men and women who fight by his side, knew a different side of their Captain. They knew that he rarely complimented people, but when he did, he was painfully honest. Levi wasn’t one for motivational talks, but simple phrases like “you’re not gonna die here today”, or “that wasn’t half bad,” were enough sign of how pleased he was with them. They also knew he would smile when they got him a new cleaning product and would join them during their game nights, cursing when he lost and gloating when he won.

 

And everybody knew how much he cared about Eren. No, not only “care”, every person within the Corps was aware of their relationship. They didn’t have a name for it, but they recognized when a man mourned for his lover.

 

But they couldn’t do anything to help him, and not for lack of interest. Levi shut them off, sent them away or put them in cleaning duty if they tried to cross that line. Levi didn’t need that help, and he made it clear.

 

After a while, people stopped asking about him and his well-being.

 

Yeah, that’s better, Levi thought, while he emptied another bottle of whiskey during the late hours of the night.

 

_x-o-x_

_The brat, as Levi called him affectionately, grew up into a fine young man. Or maybe, he was just starting to notice him. Eren was still a hot-tempered idiot who reacted recklessly, was overconfident, and tried to please him with his tea and cleaning. But he also was an enjoyable company, a hard working cadet, and a beautiful man, inside and outside. And his eyes, those fucking eyes, two amazing gems that showed too much fire and passion, and were framed by smooth, caramel skin._

_Yeah, Levi started to see Eren as something more than just “a brat”._

_They got used to their new routine. Eren would come to his office after dinner and would work on different documents while Levi reviewed the information about the upcoming expedition. They worked on silence, Eren was smart, and he got the hang of it quickly. And, when Eren finished with his part, he would go over Levi’s small bookshelf, choose a book, and read it until he fell asleep. Sometimes, Levi would wake him up with a kick on his shin, and in weird occasions, Eren would wake in a dark office, with a blanket -that smelled like black tea and peppermint- over his chest._

_Needless to say, their relationship also began to change._

_When the paperwork was overwhelming, they would play chess or poker. Or they would talk, about their days, about Hange’s crazy experiments or the food that Sasha stole from the kitchen. Slowly, they started to confide in each other, with Levi telling Eren about the friends he lost because of his poor decisions when he first joined the Corps, and with Eren revealing him the sick feeling of righteousness that he felt when he killed those two men._

_Yes, they enjoyed their time together, and Levi couldn’t lie, he did look forward to that moment of his day._

_But feelings were complicated, and in a way, unknown to him. Levi was protective of his squad, he pushed them to be better, and helped them in the best of his abilities. But with Eren, things were different. And scary. Levi couldn’t understand why the first person he sought to after an expedition, was Eren._

_(Or why his heart did a little flip when Eren smiled or laughed at his shitty jokes)._

_Levi ignored it, of course, he did, it was easier than to admit that he might be attracted to the brat. But he could not ignore his feelings forever.  And he was more aware of his own feelings, after rescuing Eren and Historia from the Reiss chapel. He felt pain when Eren was chained like an animal, he wanted to destroy those who put him in that position, including Kenny for leading him there. But, after hearing him talk so poorly about himself, how ready he was to die for sins that he didn’t commit, Levi wanted nothing more than comfort him and protect him, not how he had been doing so for the past months, but in a way that showed Eren that he was more than a monster and a weapon. He was a person, and he deserved to be loved._

_But they didn’t have the chance to talk. With Historia taking her place as the rightful queen, and the Corps supported by the Crown, the workload increased considerably, leaving Levi irritated and moodier than normal._

_Levi thought he could avoid Eren for some more time until he convinced himself that his feelings were more platonic, that he wanted the best for Eren because he was under his care. Yeah, feelings were a scary thing that he’d rather not deal with them, but was impossible, when one night, Eren came into his office, asking him to give him something to work on, the most boring task even. All he needed was a distraction._

_“Go to bed, Yeager, I won’t have you falling asleep during training.”_

_“But I’m not tired, Captain. I can be more useful here.”_

_“Kid, you’ll be useless tomorrow, just go.”_

_Eren fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, biting his lips nervously. His eyes darted around the office, trying to find another excuse to stay a little bit longer, “But Captain-.”_

_“I said no, Eren,” Levi raised his voice slightly, startling Eren with the sudden change, “Look, kid, I’m exhausted, this shit is worse than usual, and I have to deal with a bunch of idiots who are overexcited for seeing us fail at the Capital. Just get out and be an annoying shit with someone else.”_

_“I-I’m sorry, Sir. Good night.”_

_Levi looked up just in time to see Eren biting his lip hard as a couple of tears rolled down his cheeks. When he closed the door after him, Levi sighed and continued with his work. He could always check on him later when he was less busy. Maybe it was one of those nights in which the boy felt the weight of the world upon his shoulders._

_\- - -_

_It was past three a.m. when Levi finally stopped to take a break and make a cup of tea for himself. He stretched his legs and headed into the kitchen, but the door that led to the training yard was open. Silently, he stepped outside and found Eren sitting in the last step, with his legs drawn up to his chest, and his eyes unfocused, looking at nothing. Since earlier, the rain fell heavily, accompanied by thunders that rumbled when they hit the ground. How could Eren enjoy the freezing breeze in the middle of the night, was a mystery to Levi._

_“Oi, Eren, what are you doing outside?” Levi asked, crossing his arms over his chest as if that would prevent him from feeling the cold. Eren didn’t answer right away, and he was about to ask again when another ray illuminated the sky before a thunder fell with its obnoxious sound. Levi noticed how tense the boy got, and how his shoulders shook slightly, but he didn’t say anything. Only after a couple of minutes, Eren finally answered._

_“I’m afraid of thunders,” he replied as if that would explain what he was doing outside._

_“And the most logical thing is to come outside in the middle of a storm, right?”_

_“No, no, of course not,” Eren ignored Levi’s sarcastic remark, “My mom used to tell me I should confront my fears until I no longer fear them. I didn’t want to sleep and have more nightmares, and it was raining, and since I didn’t have anything else to do, I thought I could start fighting my fear of thunders.”_

_That didn’t explain shit, but Levi wasn’t sure if he should keep pressing the boy until he got a satisfactory answer, instead, he poked his side with the tip of his boot, gaining Eren’s full attention. “Let’s got inside, Eren. It’s an order.”_

_Back in the kitchen, Levi instructed Eren to sit in one of the chairs while he made some tea. He prepared it in silence, surprised not to feel Eren’s constant gaze on his back. When the tea was done and poured in both cups, he handed one to Eren as he sat in front of the boy._

_“You look like shit, Eren,” subtlety wasn’t Levi’s specialty, but he continued, “you should talk to someone about your nightmares if they’re affecting you like this.”_

_“Hange will only want to scramble my brain to see if they’re an effect of my titan powers. Any other person here, including my friends, will look at me with pity or confusion. Mikasa and Armin, they might not say anything, but I don’t think I will be able to have them worrying over me when there are more urgent matters.”_

_“What about me?” Levi questioned, and Eren’s eyes darted up, looking confused for a moment._

_“You, sir?”_

_“Yeah. I won’t judge you, I’m no one to do so, and nothing you can tell me would change my opinions on you. Besides, it’s my duty to keep you in line, both mentally and physically.”_

_“You may think I’m going crazy, sir.”_

_“Kid, I’ve dealt with Hange for years, and trust me, ‘crazy’ doesn’t suit you.”_

_Eren’s lips twitched up, and the beginning of a smile curled up in his lips but faded quickly when he took a deep breath to say, “I’ve been dreaming that I go berserk again, and I hurt my friends or innocent people. Sometimes, I see my father as he turns me into a mindless titan. I’ve even dreamed about hurting you as a titan, and in the worst nights, I see myself as the titan who killed my mom.”_

_It wasn’t hard to guess that his nightmares worsened after he was rescued, and Levi regretted being so engrossed into his own petty conflicts, that he didn’t realize Eren was suffering like this. Without another word, Levi stood up, and moved to Eren’s side, “Eren,” Levi placed his hand atop the brunet’s head, feeling the softness of his hair, “next time, you go and talk to me, alright?”_

_Eren didn’t answer and shifted on his seat, and for a moment, Levi thought he would pull back, but instead, Eren circled his waist with his arms, hiding his face on Levi’s stomach. It was weird to have him this close, making Levi go stiff for a moment, but as Eren’s body trembled and the wetness swept through his clothes, Levi relaxed, embracing the boy’s shoulders as he let him cry for as long as he needed._

_It might not be much, but Levi was glad to give him that kind of comfort._

_x-o-x_

 

Shiganshina became a prosperous city after being rebuilt. Businesses of all kinds emerged, and under the rightful hand of Historia, the once humble city became one of the most important in Wall Rose. It was a contradiction, because most of the people who worked willingly to get this place back on, were people from the Underground. Thugs, whores, addicts, everyone followed a common dream and a common goal, and the fresh air and the sun on their skin, helped them to keep the motivation, leaving behind a life of misery and poverty.

 

And the people there thanked Levi for this change.

 

After the work he did and the ideas he offered for Historia’s orphanage, he was involved again in the rehabilitation of the habitants of the Underground. People respected him, he was some kind of legend, so it wasn’t difficult to get people who wanted a new life, and who would follow Levi’s word if that guaranteed them a better environment.

 

But that had been before Eren’s death.

 

Levi had a commitment with them, and that was the only reason that obligated him to get out of his room and the Headquarters and go into the city, observing how much it changed after a few months. As he walked down the streets, some people stopped to greet him, especially kids who weren’t unfazed by his usual scowl. He didn’t smile at them, but he made an effort to talk to them. A word or two were enough for the kids, who would run off with a grin on their faces.

 

“Oi, street rat, you’re so high in the chain that you refuse to look down at your peers?” a voice sounded from behind Levi, making him flinch. He recognized it but couldn’t put a name to it. “What, cat got your tongue, pretty boy?”

 

One of the cadets that walked by heard the man’s words and immediately jumped in front of Levi as if the Captain needed someone to defend him. “Hey, asshole, watch your mouth. He’s Captain Levi who you’re talking to.”

 

“Oh, I know who he is. When he was a lanky boy, he took down one of my brothers in front of our house. The idiot had it coming for molesting Kenny’s boy, though. Mercer brothers, ring any bell, kiddo?”

 

Levi turned around to look at the man. Years had passed since the last time he saw him. Benny Mercer, one of Kenny’s men in the underground who controlled what happened down there while Kenny went to the Capital. He was the same bald, and fat man with a small mustache -worse than Nile's, but the crinkles on his face were more prominent. “Your brother was scum. I guess you’re better than him, you made it up here.”

 

“That I did, kid, and see, I have a respectable business now. I promised my Sue I’d work harder, and I couldn’t miss the chance,” the man looked proud of himself, and Levi didn’t doubt his words.

 

 “Well, it was nice and all, but I better get going,” Levi wanted to walk away, but Benny stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. The cadet, who remained silent watching them talk, looked at them warily, but Levi ignored him, instructing him to go away with a movement of his hand.

 

“I have some unfinished business with Kenny, kid.”

 

“The old man is long gone. Find someone else to pester.”

 

A loud laugh was emitted from the man’s mouth, and Levi tried not to roll his eyes. “It’s nothing bad, kid, I swear. I owe Kenny some bucks, and you’re the closest thing to a son.”

 

Levi hadn’t thought about it for a while, not that it mattered now, but it had been easier to forget about his shitty childhood when he had someone to confide in. With a sigh, Levi followed the man to his “respectable business”, which turned out to be a tavern.

 

“Everything is legal, you see? I worked my ass off to get this place, and I’m doing well. Not only me, but most of the people who come with me have done a fine job getting this place back on track. And it’s thanks to you and our pretty blond queen that we’re here.”

 

“Some people deserved a second chance,” was Levi’s honest reply. He took a seat at one of the tables in the back and waited for Benny to return to the table.

 

 “What can I get for you, sir?” One of the waitresses approached his table. The girl couldn’t be older than twenty. She was petite and frail, and her skin kept the sickly pale color of the people from the Underground. By her appearance, she couldn’t have more than a week or so working there.

 

“Nothing. I’m waiting for your boss.” The girl nodded and walked away to serve another table.

 

Minutes later, Benny sat in front of Levi, carrying an old envelope that he handed to Levi. “Last time I saw your old man, we had just finished a job. Our gang was good, and Kenny knew we were the best at what we did. He had this job here with a fancy ass, so he didn’t care about how much money he made with his side jobs.”

 

Levi opened the envelope and found a letter, and he started reading it. Although he was good at maintaining his neutral façade, his brows furrowed, confused by the contents of the letter.

 

“He was a bastard, but he had a soft spot for you, kid. He wanted you to have his share, so here it is.”

 

“I don’t need his money.”

 

“I know you don’t. You made a name for yourself, and that’s more than what most of us can accomplish.”

 

“Then why now?”

 

The man gave Levi a sympathetic look, the kind of look that says, ‘you’re going through a tough time, but I wanna smack some sense into you’. “I heard about you and that titan boy,” Benny replied, shrugging, ignoring the way Levi clutched the envelope in his hand, clearly bothered by the casual mention of Eren, “I’m not an expert, Levi, but I lost my Sue, and I had only two options; I could either get drunk and die, or I could honor her memory and be a better man for her.”

 

Levi wanted to argue, to tell the man to fuck off and mind his own business, but he couldn’t make himself say anything. He was suddenly speechless, unused of being put on the spot by someone who barely knew him, or at least, who didn’t know the man he had become.

 

“The money is safe in the bank, it’s up to you what you wanna do with it,” Benny stood up, and clapped Levi on the back a couple of times, “come back whenever you want, Levi. You’ll always be welcome here.”

 

The Captain read the letter again, feeling a knot forming down his throat.

_‘To Levi: if you made it this far as to read this letter, congrats, brat, you survived with what I taught you. Consider this my last will or the hell you wanna call this shit. I put some money on the bank, so you better make good use of it. The password to get it is Kuchel’s birthday._

_P.S. I’m no one’s dad, kiddo, but you did make me proud.’_

 

Levi placed his head on his hands, and took deep breaths for some time, ignoring for how long he’d been sitting there. In another situation, this might be laughable, but right now, he wanted nothing but to scream until his throat went raw and voiceless.

 

The clicking sound of ceramic placed in front of him brought him back from his thoughts. He looked up with red-rimmed eyes and found the same young waitress wearing an apologetic smile on her face. “Linden tea. Looks like you could use some.”

 

Levi took a small sip, tasting the warmth beverage, and nodded. “It’s not bad.”

 

The girl smiled, and Levi noticed the small dimples on her cheeks. Despite her fragile appearance, her thin black hair, and her shadowed face, her green eyes were bright, for a moment reminding him of Isabel’s eyes. “You looked sad, so I thought this would help.”

 

“What makes you think I’m sad? Maybe I’m just bored, and this shithole isn’t improving my mood.”

 

The waitress pursued her lips. Her black hair, that she kept into a delicate ponytail, bounced as she shook her head, with a confidence that only a kid -or someone younger and inexperienced, who hasn’t seen half of the death and destruction that Levi’s has-, could possess. “I’m no fool, sir. I’ve seen that look. You miss someone you love.”

 

Well then, the kid was witty and observant. And brave, too, considering she hadn’t backed down after being subjected to Levi’s glare. “What’s your name, kid?”

 

“I’m Amelia, sir.”

 

“Well, Amelia, learn to keep that mouth shut. You’re too chatty for your own good.”

 

One of the patrons called Amelia, and she gave a little wave before walking off. “Have a good day, Captain, and come back soon!”

 

Levi acknowledged her with a nod and finished his tea. He left a couple of coins on the table, and folded the envelop, to put it inside the pocket of his jacket. As Levi walked back the Headquarters, rays colored the evening sky, announcing thunders that didn’t take long to fall. He stopped in his tracks, ignoring the cold, fat drops that wettened whatever they touched. He frowned, and the pressure coiled in his chest again. Levi couldn’t help it as his thoughts wandered to a far memory.

 

Eren was afraid of thunders and storms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked it, leave me a comment or a kuddo!  
> Also find me on tumblr as [miitzwrites](https://miitzwrites.tumblr.com)


End file.
